MIschief in the morning

by gretchen



We have a pack. Each morning, at 5:30, the leader of the pack arouses the troops, cued by the birds and chipmunks who still haven't learned that it's smarter to shut up in the presence of The Pack. One cranky human wanders downstairs (swearing), opens the door, and the pack races out. It's the same scene every morning.



Giant Yellow Dog (Laney) runs over the other two and patrols the perimeter.

Small Yellow Dog (Leo) runs over the smallest (often knocking him down) and marks every single bush in the yard. Twice.

Small White Cat (Mookie, The Pack Leader) runs out with them and, after recovering from being stepped on and/or knocked over by at least one of the dogs, starts to slink around the yard, hunting for bees and chipmunks.



Yesterday, snuggled in bed, I heard this exchange:



Cranky Human: Mookie! Drop it! Mookie! Mookie! Drop it.
Mookie: Mmfffmmfff grrrrrr grrrrrr mffff

CH: Mookie! Mookie. Shit. MOOKIE!

Mookie: Crunch.

Thunk.



CH: goddammit
Tap tap tap (dog's toenails on the deck)

CH: LEO! LEO! Drop it!

Leo: GGGGRRRRRR GRRRRRR crunch crunch crunch

CH: LEO!

Leo: crunch crunch

CH: Leo! LEO! Drop it! Drop it!

Leo: Tastes like chicken

CH: (inaudible grumbling)

Leo: BWOOOWWW BWOOWOWOWW

Door slams.

Pack runs upstairs.

Leo tries to get on bed. Can't. He needs to be picked up because he's too little. Crabby man picks him up, drops him on the bed and Leo crawls under the blankets. Mookie then jumps on the bed and decides to go to sleep on top of Leo, despite the growling. "What happened?"

"Mookie caught a chipmunk and was playing with it. When I finally got him to drop it, Leo ate it."

"I think it's great they are learning to get along and work together."

Everyone goes back to sleep.


Two hours later, The Pack is in the bathroom, helping me get ready for work. Mookie does a flying leap onto the shelf with my makeup, obviously to get it down for me. He's very helpful. After knocking everything off and letting it shower upon me as I put lotion on my legs, he decides to dangle from the top shelf for a bit. The little dog waits at my feet, awed and inspired. The big dog guards the door. Finally, the cat dismounts onto my foot, claws extended.



I open the door to leave for work and the cat decides he needs to go with me. He's not invited. I get to chase him around the driveway in 4" heels. Leo cries at the door inside. Laney runs upstairs and reports it all to Sleeping Man, who doesn't care. At. All.