Conversations overheard

by tess

There are days when my ears bleed from exposure to the inane chitchat of my colleagues. I’ll share transcripts of actual conversations with you periodically so that you can lie in bed late at night and wish you were me.

Becca de Braindead: So is it cinco de Mayo today?
Kris Krabby: Yup, you’re all over that one.
Carlos from Columbia: Yeah, it means fifth of May and today’s May fifth.
Becca de Braindead: Ooooooh. (Pause) Why is it special?
Kris Krabby: I don’t know. Look it up.
Becca de Braindead: How?
Kris Krabby: Sigh.
Carlos from Columbia: Go to Google and type it in.
Becca de Braindead: How do you spell it?
Kris Krabby: Just go to Wikipedia and type in C-i-n-c-o-d-e-m-a-y-o.
Becca de Braindead: I thought you would just know. You’re Mexican.
Carlos from Columbia: I’m Columbian. That’s different than Mexican.
Becca de Braindead: Oooooooh.
Kris Krabby (summarizes aloud from Wikipedia to The Entire Office): It’s a regional holiday in Mexico celebrating their independence.
Carlos from Columbia (reading along for some unknowable reason): No, it says only Americans think that. Their real independence day is September 16.
Becca de Braindead: What’s that?
Kris Krabby: What’s what?
Becca de Braindead: September 16?
Carlos from Columbia: Mexico’s independence day.
Becca de Braindead: They have one, too?
Kris Krabby: Yup.
Becca de Braindead: What’s it called?
Carlos from Columbia: I’m not sure. Look it up.
Becca de Braindead: I don’t think bars celebrate that.
Kris Krabby: Celebrate what?
Becca de Braindead: That other thing.
Carlos from Columbia: Yeah, I think you’re right.
Becca de Braindead: Well, you should know. You’re Mexican.
Carlos from Columbia: No, I’m Columbian. That’s different.
Becca de Braindead: Oooooh. (Pause) So we should all go out drinking tonight.
Kris Krabby: Nope. Can’t.
Carlos from Columbia: No, I can’t either.
Becca de Braindead: But you have to, it’s Mexico’s independence day and you’re Mexican.
Boss sniffles forcefully and incessantly; this is apparently management-ese for SHUT UP BEFORE I FIRE ALL OF YOU
Blissful silence ensues until the next verse of the If-I-Only-Had-a-Brain Follies