Temporary blindness

by tess

Our bathrooms are crappy. They’re the kind that you see on low-end can’t-get-this-damn-house-sold-to-save-my-life HGTV shows. You’d recognize the components immediately – the lowest-bidder quality sink/tub/shower fixtures, the cheapo plastic countertops that never looked like faux marble, the bargain basement mirrors, and those god-awful Hollywood light bars.

Every Single Time I force The Hubs to watch a bathroom remodeling show with me, I declare (as though it was the first time!):

See? That’s just like our crappy bathroom. Even that humongous woman wearing a red plaid shirt with yellow striped culottes and ‘70s jelly sandals is sneering at it. We’re never going to sell our house with a bathroom like that.

Sadly he is unable to respond. Because apparently HGTV stands for Hence Goeth The Vision. He suffers coma-like temporary blindness which prevents him not only from seeing the bathroom remodels but also from responding to any words that pass my lips.

Either that or he’s ignoring me.

As a small shove in the right direction – the direction of having bathrooms that look they were built by people who wore more fabric than loincloths – I purchased a new light fixture to replace one of the Hollywood bars. It’s been propped in the corner of the bedroom for 16.5 months now.

But at least it has been put to good use. Quinty uses it as a springboard to the top of the armoire from which he can dive bomb his sister when she’s finished spraying kitty litter all over our beautiful circa 1985 master bath.