Floormats Part II

“I noticed that the floor mat was sitting in the driveway. What’s that all about?” he asked. As if he didn’t know the answer.
“We broke up. Floormat and I broke up, if you must know.”
“Really. Why?”
“Floormat was controlling. Floormat didn’t want to let me do what I wanted to do and I am a strong, independent woman and I will not be controlled and held down, dammit!” I said, slamming my hand down on the counter.
“What did you want to do?”“I wanted to shift. But as I TOLD YOU BEFORE, sometimes Floormat catches my heel of my shoe and I can’t shift. So I ended it. And I will tell you that Floormat wasn’t very mature about the break up at all. When I threw him out of the house –“
“The car—“
“The car, Floormat spewed dirt and stones all over my sandaled foot which I think is just petty and small. And for that, Floormat is now sitting in the driveway, alone, in the rain, thinking about his behavior.”
“That’ll teach him.”
“I’m doing it so he can be better in his next relationship. I’m doing it for all the women who come after me.”
“Listening to Carrie Underwood again?”
“Purchased my new floormats yet?”