BFF

by tess

We just got the latest batch of new employees and I’m not overly fond of them. Well, I wasn’t … until today.

Sixty-something Linda Loudmouth was announcing web news to the entire office as usual. Twenty-something New Employee #3 is too much of a rookie to feign temporary deafness.

LL: David Cook is giving his pants to the Hard Rock.
NE: Who’s David Cook?
LL: (shocked silence followed by sputtering disbelief) Who’s David Cook?
NE: Yeah, who’s David Cook?
LL: COME ON. Have you been living under a rock?
NE: Uhh, no. Who is he?
LL: That’s sacrilege in this office, buddy-boy.
NE: Huh?
LL: AAAMMMMEERRRICAN IIIIIDOOLLLL Season Seven!!!!
NE: Oh. I’ve heard of that. Is he like a judge or something?

BRWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!

New Employee #3 is my savior; my living, breathing proof that Some Americans Have Not Sullied Themselves with that Dreadful Fox Dreck. After YEARS of being tortured by minutiae about the judges’ integrity, the guests’ brilliance, and the contestants’ virtuosity, FINALLY I have a compatriot and fellow detractor of All Things Idol.

I better go call 911. Linda’s not breathing and has turned sort of an apoplectic purple.