Name game 1

by tess

I’ve noticed from his email signatures that The Hubs has a new title every 45 to 60 days. But he isn’t frequently tasked with new responsibilities and he’s certainly never given any additional salary. This leads me to believe that all these titles are not officially bestowed upon him by his company. Honestly, I bet he makes them up. He reads several corporate journals (and other really boring non-fiction that doesn’t include either vampires or sex – BOOORRIING!). And you know how men are. They spy something shiny and new – in this case a sparkly new title – and covet the bauble with their tiny black hearts. So my guess, after 20 years of knowing the man, is that with each new title comes a tiny boost to the old ego. This month it’s Practice Manager. Not stingy with my mind-boggling insight, I shared, “That’s a lameass title. Are you practicing to be a manager? Maybe one day you’ll move all the way up from Orange Julius to Claire’s Accessories! BRAAHHHH! (Insert self-satisfied bray here.)” I was informed by The Eyeroll of Annoyance that I was, as usual, out of my depth. Okay, fine. My red-hot, broad-shouldered, long-fanged vampires and I will henceforth withhold our phenomenally perceptive observations and you may continue to concoct inane titles.