I had a dream

by tess

As frequent readers know, my day begins early. Not because I’m one of those today-is-the-first-day-of-the-rest-of-my-life-so-I’ll-rise-with-the-sun-run-for-an-hour-catch-up-with-the-Nikkei-exchange-then-serve-breakfast-at-the-soup-kitchen-before-work kind of people. It is due, rather, to the fact that I suffer from OSCATS (Owner of Spoiled Cats who Act like Terrorists Syndrome). So prior to the Daily Cat Parade of 4 AM Wakedness, I dreamed The Hubs was bashing my face in.

It was a strange dream that began in a park where a group of tweenish friends were designing t-shirts for Camp Be a Ho, with the tagline: or just look like one. The logo was a stick drawing of a wigwam enclosing a stick girl striking a provocative pose.

While we selected shirt colors, I suddenly panicked, remembering that our flight was at 4:30. Fleeing the scene leaving money and hairbrushes behind, I inexplicably encountered The Ex Hubs (and his wife who looked nothing like The Princess New Bride). Somewhat concerned, he indicated that he’d check at the front desk, but thought we were scheduled to leave the following day.

Suddenly I was at the Jules Verne restaurant in the Eiffel Tower. Gazing out the vast picture windows I could see terrifying gargoyle statues and some sort of Harry Potter-esque emerald green zeppelin flying through the streets directly in front of us. I remember thinking, “This is amazing. I’ll always remember this.”

Later, from a raised viewing deck behind thick glass, we could see the Metro subway trains. Finally the train advertising our Camp Be a Ho graphics trundled past. Some passengers on the train and those waiting to board were glaring menacingly at us, particularly one very tall red-wigged transvestite. (Think 90% Dr. Frank-n-Furter, 5% Ronald McDonald, 5% Tyra Banks.)

Suddenly we were in a hotel room and The Hubs awakened me. He was yelling that I do something ALL THE TIME and punching my head while I screamed NO NO NO NO NO NOOOO and wondered when Security would arrive.

End of dream.

I only know two things about dream analysis. 1) Appearing shockingly and embarrassingly naked but unable to cover yourself represents a fear of exposure. 2) Being forced to take an exam for a class that you forgot to attend represents a fear of unpreparedness. These are very common threads in my dreams and no longer haunt me because within the dream itself another part of my mind interprets the meaning. But what interests me here is the common element of sitting behind windows while life progresses in front of me rather than being actively involved. Again, not surprising and easily interpreted, but interesting nonetheless.

I cannot fathom what the tween scene is about. And The Ex? No clue.

That leaves the rather climactic and wholly unexpected Friday Night Fight Night showdown. Strangely, I’m not absolutely certain it was The Hubs punching me. It could have been Hulk Hogan. No, The Hubs doesn’t even vaguely resemble Hulk, but somehow I’m sure that it was one or the other of them.

I just started reading Graham Joyce’s Dreamside last night and I’m wondering if I’ll have weirdass dreams the whole time I’m reading it. I hope so. I mean nobody wants to have violent dreams obviously, but who doesn’t enjoy a crazy dream here and there?