Queen of Knowledge

by tess

In every office there is one woman who knows everything about … well … everything. And because she knows it all, she ever-so-kindly shares her great wisdom with those of us who are inferior to her superior enlightenment. She makes it clear every day and in every way that she is the top to our bottom, always first-class to our coach, ever Lear to our Fool, invariably the dom to our sub.

The Q of K in my current workplace is named Peg (Lithuanian for She Who Knows All and Refuses to Keep Her Trap Shut). It would be obvious to take the easy way out by failing to embrace Pedantic Peg and her unrelenting counsel. But could you really shun unsolicited advice on topics as disparate as cooking and fashion, politics and child-rearing, religion and Britney Spears? Could you truly close your ears to the fresh-off-FOXNews updates she announces throughout the office every ten minutes? Would you be willing to spurn daily updates to reality TV shows that you don’t watch? How could you survive Monday mornings without a forty minute treatise describing every single moment of the wonderful weekend she spent attending fabulous events with her perfect sons? Would Armageddon not rain down upon us without re-enactments of every client interaction?

While others may disparage She of All Illumination, I appreciate The Pegmeister. She willfully inserts herself into every event, every conversation, every moment that might otherwise be quiet minus the incessant drone of her piercing insight. To muzzle the Loquacious One would leave conversations incomplete – there would be no one to provide the final word.

In the future, I plan to further encourage our own Regina of Rightness to disseminate her wisdom upon us dissolute office drones. Otherwise how could we identify and root out our defective opinions, specious information, and erroneous ideas? We are deeply indebted to Peg for her wise and perpetual counsel. Long live the Queen!