Just another week

Apparently knocking on the restroom door is too challenging for some people. If one's hands are full of ... nothing(!), one may opt to scream at the door: IS ANYONE IN THERE???!!! That doesn't get old at all. Even hearing it every 40 minutes for nine hours a day. Nope, fresh and awesome every darn time.

I mentioned to a colleague that we plan to rent our house while we're abroad. When she seemed interested, I wanted to be sure that she didn't have unrealistic expectations. She was fine with the circus tent paint colors, and even with the miniscule plot size. The conversation changed course when it came to the kitchen.
Me: It's stainless but there's no granite.
Her: Oh, that's okay. I wouldn't really expect granite in JUST A RENTAL.
I'm sure she didn't mean it as an enormous insult, but ....

Stan answers the phone with a perfectly normal greeting prior to starting the script. The only problem - each and every phone call sounds a lot like this. "Hi, this is Stan Fields. Good morning, my name is Stan and I'm an account manager from ...." And nobody seems to think this is odd. Fifty to sixty times per day. Nobody mentions, "Uhh, hey, buddy. You know what might sound a little better?" Nope.

NuPerson Nancy left a disgusting bowl of revolting food on the counter overnight. Always grotesque but in a state known for the size of its roaches and ants ... sub-awesome move, dude. So even as Jayne and I were completely grossed out by the mess, there rose a tickling pleasure, a lurking joy. Our eyes met and we knew without words: When Claudia the Kitchen Cleaning Commando wandered in, there would be hell to pay. Eyes lit up, giggles escaped. We pretended to busy ourselves until Claudia's arrival. But then ... nothing. A paltry "Is she serious with the bean slop?" And nothing more. Jayne, still pretending to work, sensed my disappointed eyes boring holes into her. Without glancing up, Jayne whispered, "Don't worry; it's not over." And she was right; it wasn't over. It was explosive and beautiful. It was the shock and awe of the very best 4th of July ever. A day worth living indeed. Sometimes we need those rare and beautiful gifts from heaven to balance out the drudgery. So thanks, heaven, for Nancy and her immortal beanmuck.