Questions and Observations, Take 142

Who decided a "serving" of girl scout cookies is two cookies? It's one row. Same for Oreos. And pretty much anything that comes in rows.

Is anyone else started to know that not only are there women out there who are so out of it they don't realize they are pregnant, but that there are enough of these space cadets that TLC has a whole series about it?

Why do ghost hunters always assume the gobbledy guk on their EVPs is in English?

We're having six people for dinner on Thursday. We have four chairs. Is it rude to ask two people to stand? Or would it be better for me to volunteer to eat on the couch (like every other night)?

If there is an English version of a show and a foreign version, watch the foreign version. The FCC ruins everything.

There's a commercial where this woman in an ugly sweater and poorly bleached hair tells me that her fridge is her perfect partner. And I thought, Lady, couple that with the sweater and you really should be somewhere with doors that lock from the outside.

Why do all of the animals follow me into the bathroom? ALL of them. EVERY time.

I consider my dog's job to guard me not only from burly intruders intent on stealing my shoes and thumb drives, but to protect me from ghosts. The dogs are supposed to warn me when some confused spirit is around and just waiting for the right moment to scare the shit out of me. And so I find it highly unhelpful to discover I have adopted a dog that bays and howls in the night, every night. He's in cahoots with the ghosts, no doubt telling them the exact right moment to spook me for maximum scare payoff. "Noooooooooooooooowowowowoowwwwwooooo! Scare her noooowowoowowowowowoowowowowowowwwwww. Before Jamie comes hoooooooooooowowowowowoowowowowooooomm."

I thought putting the chocolate in the garage was enough of a deterrent. It's not.

I started to clean today but got bored half-way through, so now we have a pre-battle tableaux: vacuum in the hall, 409 on the counter, Tilex on the tub ledge -- at any moment, the war will start. "Parties For People You Don't Like But Need to Impress" Tip: If you spray any cleaner that smells of bleach in the air, people will think you spent way more time cleaning than you did.

If I tell you my dog bites and you decide that you are smarter than my dog, and you can, in fact, mess with him and he bites you, what does that tell you about your intelligence?