Why You Should be Rallying, Part I

Part I: The Emotional Stages of Rallying

“Did you have fun?” This question is sprinkled over the rally group as we pour into the break or the final location, often griping about a turn that we missed, a TA that we had to take, or a particularly gnarly section of dirt, gravel, maddening twists, and one freaked out doe. We’re being reminded of the point of these rallies, even though some of us have fallen to the dark side and are threatening to fire a partner if the section he messed up causes the team to lose. That’s if we’re even talking to our partners.



So why go out there, in the middle of winter (or, in this year’s case: perpetual November) and drive around for seven hours on back “roads” (and at times, “road” is used in its loosest interpretation possible), obsessing about each turn and each second, about where the next checkpoint will be, and why your handbrake is sticking and how that will ruin the race for you? From the outside, it seems like a lot of frustration. From the outside it would. From the outside it did.


And then I was drafted, a last-minute effort for Jamie to compete this season. Jamie sits in the driver’s seat with a lot of experience. I’m in the navigator’s seat with impaired math skills, a short attention span, a tendency for motion sickness, and a nasty habit of saying “left” when I mean “right.” To make matters even more stressful for Jamie, I’m his wife. From what I understand, rallying spouses are few and far between likely due to the stress of finding your way, quickly but accurately, in the snow, in the dark, on roads that that are often unpaved and in the confines of a car which shrinks with each passing mile and curt remark. Countries have fallen over less. Small, unimportant, possibly imaginary countries made out of Legos, but countries nonetheless.


When rallying, you will experience many of the emotional stages listed below, some more than others.

INSECURITY: Will I royally mess this up?
NAUSEA: Will I puke in this car? How many Dramamine can one take in seven hours?
EXHAUSTION: If I close my eyes for a second, I’ll be fine. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
PANIC: Where’s the road? Did we miss the road? Should we take a TA?
FRUSTRATION: How can we still be off?
ANNOYANCE: This is your fault.
HAPPINESS: We are doing well!
BLISS: We are winning!
ANGER: We are losing!
RATIONALIZATION: Our windshield wipers weren’t working well.
ARROGANCE: We are amazing!
HUMILITY: Have you seen Alan’s score?

But it’s not just about the exciting emotional experience described above that should draw you in. No, my friends, rallying offers you one-of-a-kind experiences that will make you a better person, a better driver, and result in world-wide fame and fortune, stunning good looks, the jealousy of some, the awe of many, and a god-like status. (Results may vary.) (Significantly.)