by gretchen
1. Vince, the Sham-Wow guy, "Because we can't do this all day." Yes, you can. And you do. And we would like you to STOP. I think his Sham-Wows all fell off the back of a truck in Jersey.
2. Rock of Love Bus, "I Just Specifically Asked You Guys Not To Be Slutty." I want to know how this guy got his job as Slut-O-Meter and what his qualifications are. Personally, considering the girls on this show, asking them not to be slutty is the equivalent of asking Joan Rivers to be polite.
3. The Ped Egg. You know this one: it's a cheese grater shaped like an Easter Egg and designed to hold the nasty scraping of your nasty feet as a souvenir of your home pedicure until you are ready to empty it at which point you'll marvel at the skin shavings within. Let me tell you: these commercials should come with a warning -- all pedicure commercials should come with a warning because they show some hideous, disgusting, X-rated gore. Seriously.
4. RuPaul's Drag Race. That's it: I officially LOOOOOVE Drag Queens. This is THE BEST THING I have ever seen. You must watch. YOU MUST.
5. 18 Kids and Counting. We had a conference about at work and we have all agreed that while rare, waiting for your wedding day to kiss your spouse for the first time is fine (although I don't think that's the time to find out he/she is a bad kisser; you can't retrain that). What we CANNOT abide is doing it publicly. Who's first kiss didn't involve some sort of humiliation? Man, the first time I tried to kiss a boy I MISSED and bit his eyebrow. First Kiss should be a private humiliation. And then you should share the humiliation with me because I love that stuff.
And don't forget the Jack LaLanne's Power Juicer! I got caught watching this one around 2:13am one morning during the Christmas Holiday and fell head-over-heels. I ordered it right then and there, of course it took about 6 weeks to arrive, but that didn't stop me from becoming a walking, talking billboard for the product.
ReplyDeleteEvery office should have a Slut-O-Meter. Seriously. If I could judge my colleagues clothes each morning, I would be a much more positive person. It should be right next to the B!tch-O-Meter.
ReplyDeleteWhich meter do you think would go off more, Tess?
ReplyDeleteWell, there's one for each of us. The BOM wouldn't stop me from snarking just like the SOM wouldn't stop you from wearing shirts in which you can't breathe!
ReplyDeleteSO TRUE. But really do wear shirts that fit now. At least, I think they fit...
ReplyDeleteHis name was Doubting Thomas. Mine: Doubting Tess.
ReplyDelete